Fall is finally in the air here in San Diego, and I’ve returned for a new update on my life. It’s nothing too exciting to the average reader, so I guess I’m writing this more for myself. It’s more of a reflection I suppose. These past few months have been eventful and eye-opening. Let’s just take a quick look on the past year.
When I first started this blog, I was just married and back from my honeymoon. Fresh and hot out of law school. Not long after, I decided to begin pursuing a possible new career because I fell in love with wedding planning while planning my own. (Never in a million years did I think this was a possible dream I could pursue.) At the encouragement of my husband, I began contacting countless wedding planning companies and struck gold with the woman I work for now. I had only worked a few weddings before my grandma had a sudden turn in health for the worse, and I had to make next-day flights back home to care for my grandmother. Around that time, I poured my thoughts and feelings into my blog since it strangely gave me even a glimmer of clarity and a release. (I never wrote an entry of closure since I hadn’t quite processed it at the time, and I intend to at some point.) When my grandmother passed suddenly, I returned to San Diego with a heavy heart I didn’t expect to have; my feelings even took Ryan by surprise. But I carried on and have continued wedding planning. Now, I’m also working for an attorney I worked for last year, and to say that it has been a blessing is an understatement. I couldn’t stop beaming because it was (at least to me) a dream job.
With both jobs, I fall in love even more, and when you work with the right people who push you, inspire you, and are genuinely kind and understanding people, you realize it’s not work if you love what you’re doing. I realize that’s rare after having gone through several jobs over the last few years.
In a strange way, I felt my grandmother’s passing was her nudge at me… telling me that life goes by quickly and that times are changing. It is possible to do everything I want in this life and that I have to go for it now. I have to make it happen. It’s a lot easier said than done, which I’m sure you’ve figured out. But with my very traditional Chinese background, I felt stuck at a crossroads with tradition and my generation’s views. To give you a better idea of what I was struggling with, here’s a little background:
My grandma came here from China (essentially a single mom) and worked hard to give my mother and her sister a better life. In turn, my mother (and father) worked even harder to give me an easier life. All those who came before me had struggles I can’t even begin to appreciate fully. They didn’t have the luxuries my brother and I were so fortunate to enjoy – watching TV, sleeping in, only having to focus on ourselves and school grades. Their history and the way they were brought up meant working a steady job with good pay and reliable benefits, which to this day is a mindset they have drilled into me.
While I appreciate that it provides comfort, possibly some bragging rights if you can call it that, and the fact that it puts my mind at ease, I am surrounded by dreamers, entrepreneurs, achievers – all of whom are humble and successful. I’m inspired more and more each day so much that might heart might burst, and I just have to do something about. They have each explained to me they have had to take huge risks and have also had naysayers and odds against them. Their successes were not without multiple failures. I’ve even read of those who have had similar upbringings and their parents came around to their choice of careers. Sometimes, I’m afraid my family will say all those dreamers, entrepreneurs, achievers, are all just the lucky few and to not take chances. But there will be those who always doubt, and I’ve come to firmly believe if you trust in what you’re doing, things will naturally follow. As one of my favorite quotes goes:
“What if I fall?”
“Oh, but my darling, what if you FLY?”
Having felt worn out, tired, judged, and looked down upon, I finally decided I am going to pursue wedding planning and other business ventures with Ryan. I’m going to enjoy learning photography, blogging, planning things to do on the weekends with Ryan, stop turning friends down and hanging out more, and continuing to do law. Just living life and enjoying it more. After all, as cliché as this sounds, you’ve only got one life to live and anything can happen at any moment. So, carpe diem!
P.S. Thanks for reading! I can’t believe how many of you actually read a nobody’s blog! I love hearing your feedback. XO!